First In Flight

Depression has been a loud voice in my head lately. I’ve been seeing lots of mental heath memes that are reassuring and helpful in seeing how my depression is playing out in my life. I’ve been having a hard time focusing on tasks and have been lacking the “get things done” motivation. I’m having trouble planning long-term. These aren’t new patterns for me, I’ve been struggling with depression as long as I can remember, but these aren’t patterns I want to keep around in my life. 

I’ve been trying to disrupt some of the depression patterns. One is by starting the morning with this song. So much of it resonates with me. The beat and rhythm get me moving. The lyrics help me remember what I am striving for. It helps cut through the loud voice of depression. It also just makes me feel good and reminds me about the changes I am trying to make in my thinking patterns. I want to have the attitude of “Good morning’ God” not “Good God, morning’” when I wake up in the morning. 

Yeah there is a lot of shit going on in the world that is hard on the heart and spirit but being irritated about it just keeps me in a place of stagnation. If I’m complaining about it, I’m not doing anything about it because my energy is going into putting words together to complain not putting any energy towards an action. I’m learning more about “moving through” a moment and not letting myself get stuck there. There is a lot of programing to fight on that front. I grew up around complainers and it taught me to put the focus on the things that are wrong first and the good things become an after thought. For me this song is all about getting my attitude and my perception right to carry through my day. 

Blackalicious, “First In Flight”